My friend Federico, a great conqueror, said: “I am not afraid to fight for the love of a woman if my opponent is more handsome than me. If he is younger than me, I am not afraid of him. If he is richer than me, I am not afraid of him. If he sings beautifully and better than me, I will undoubtedly defeat him. If he is stronger than me, I will beat him. The one with whom I surrender, the one I don’t even try to fight… is the one who has more time than me.”

As you can see, Federico had a clear notion of the relationship between man and woman and he would go on: “a good technique is to make them laugh; joke with them, let them relax, so the lady to be conquered finds herself lowering her guard because laughter calms her down. Of course – Federico continued – if you sing well, if you look good, if you have details such as giving flowers or courtesies such as opening and closing doors or perhaps leading a serenade or choosing a melody that she likes and penetrates the depths of her mind, and it becomes a communication even if we are not together. They are good ways to flatter.”

In high school, a friend asked our Federico what would he do to get a girlfriend and Federico answered: “We are going to use the “burst shot” system and ask one by one all the girls in 9th grade to be your girlfriend, and so if it doesn’t work out you will continue with the 10th grade high school girls and if it doesn’t work out you go with the 11th grade girls, surely among these 40 or 50 girls some will say yes, and well if you are not in love with them just talk, practice and then you will use the techniques acquired with your true love.”

Federico was inspired by the Spanish author Enrique Jardiel Poncela who wrote the book: “But there were once 11 thousand virgins” which we enthusiastically recommend because the central character falls in love with 37 thousand girls of whom he says: “women embrace the way of thinking of the man who embraces them” and another series of phrases that give you a clear vision of the conquest, except that he finds a girl named Vivola Adamant who surpasses him with 48 thousand successes, and when he falls in love he loses all the wise tactics that had helped him succeed.

Federico says that the most sexual of instruments is the brain, therefore you have to caress the mind, causing fun and satisfaction.

Federico suggested an acrostic (originally in Spanish), to subtly ask for a caress. And is the following:

Tell me when you have read

Attentive and with great care

My verses, and if you have found

In them what I ask of you

One thing has only been

There is nothing wrong with it

Look for it if you have found it

Then without hesitation say

If I give it to you

Or do you give it to me

If you don’t achieve your goal, at least you will make the girl smile or blush and that’s a good start. Eventually, dear reader, we will keep sharing with you the adventures of Federico The Conqueror.

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